Child Custody Lessons from The Valley: Don't Be a Jax Taylor
There is always discussion regarding how scripted/edited reality tv shows are. Since I admittedly watch too many of them, I can make an argument that supports about any opinion on that topic.
Scripted or not, I do know that there are real life legal lessons being shared in Season 2 of The Valley. Honestly with all the separations and divorces, it feels like I am watching my work life on tv. The Valley focuses on 5 couples as they transition from the fast life of Hollywood to adulting in The Valley. The couples have gone from renting apartments to buying their first homes. Staying up late partying is being replaced by staying up late feeding a baby and changing diapers.
The drama of Jax and Brittany continues. Their tumultuous courtship and marriage started in their first reality series, Vanderpump Rules. Their separation and divorce is now featured on The Valley. This has been an over-the-top divorce. Claims of infidelity, domestic violence, drug and alcohol abuse, spying, diagnosis of bipolar, PTSD, autism, non-payment of a mortgage, rage texting, etc. Child custody of their son, Cruz, seems to be resolved at the moment thankfully.
To say that Jax and Brittany have many issues is an understatement. Brittany declared early on in Season 2 that she was going to get sole custody. Sole custody by one parent is rare, but it seems that Brittany has been successful in her sole custody demand. She is married to what reality tv show fans would refer to as “one of the worst husbands” in the world after all.
In my work as a divorce lawyer, it is very atypical that one parent has sole custody. To understand child custody issues, it is important to note that there are 2 parts to child custody: legal and physical.
There is the legal custody part. This part addresses who can make the major life issues for the children. The legal issues often involve: if the children should attend private or public school; should the children be home schooled; should the children attend church, and which church; at what age should the children be able to date, have a cell phone; etc. In the overwhelming majority of cases, both parents share legal custody. It is hard to get a parent to “give up” legal custody. But, it looks like that is exactly what Jax did.
The other part of child custody addresses the physical part of custody. Who has physical custody of the children during the week? Is it a week on and a week off situation? Is it a 2-2-3 situation? Are children with mom during the school year and dad has most of his time in the summer and school breaks?
How well the physical custody schedule works depends on how closely the parties live to each other; their work schedules; and the cooperation level between the parents. In our service area in NC, there is a real effort to try and obtain a physical schedule that is as close to 50/50 as much as possible. That also seems to be the trend across the country, including California. Judges and mediators strive for a 50/50 time share arrangement or as close to it as possible.
If there was a list of the most hated/worst behaved reality stars-Jax Taylor would earn a spot on that list. He’d also be very close to the top of the list. Although it is rare for one parent to have sole legal and physical custody, the other parent needs to have issues as serious as those that Jax seems to have. To “win” at getting sole legal and physical custody, you need to have really “lost” at spouse/partner selection. Perhaps Jax will become a better parent, but most Valley fans would agree that Brittany should be the parent with sole custody. Jax has been having issues with getting sober, stalking his wife, rage texting, cheating and lying-just to list a few of his short-comings.
On the same tv show and to juxtapose Jax and Brittany, there is another quarreling couple, Jesse and Michelle Lally, who are jointly coparenting their 5 year old daughter, Isabella This estranged couple fights over a lot of things: money, work, property, and new partners, but they do seem to be coparenting and sharing their time with their daughter. The shared schedule seems to be working since the parties are still living relatively close to each other. If and when either parent relocates, it seems as if the shared custody schedule will need to be revisited. This outlines the stark difference between a couple that just doesn’t work together but who are still good parents and the borderline dangerous dynamic that Jax has with Brittany.
The court system, judges, legal experts, child therapists, and others maintain that a child really does benefit from having a relationship with each parent and that parents should cooperate and coparent. But, when one parent is in rehab, abusing substances, and avoiding responsibilities, it is easy to see how one parent can want and maintain sole custody.
Hopefully these tv parents and non-tv parents can do what is best for their children, but only time will tell.
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